As a lawyer, you’re listening to, assisting, and representing people who are facing some of their most challenging, upsetting life hurdles. Divorce. A sudden death caused by negligence. A custody battle. Serious criminal charges.
The things you hear, see, and need to mentally process can take an enormous toll. Even evidence review packets can contain some truly jarring, startling information, images, and witness statements. Whether you’re fully aware of it or not, the realities and information you have to interact with week in and week out can cause stress, anxiety, and even depression long-term.
So how can you balance professionalism and compassion as a lawyer? How do you care for clients without caring too much? And what does excessive, internalized care look and feel like? Below, we’ll break down the dangers of toxic empathy (yes, empathy can be a bad thing), signs of emotional overload, and how to shift your approach to create healthier, more productive mental pathways.
While every area of law has the potential to expose lawyers to upsetting or disturbing information, some areas present a greater risk. Criminal defense, criminal prosecution, wrongful death law, and even personal injury law can expose lawyers to immense quantities of upsetting, troubling information.
Photographs of crime scenes, witness descriptions of violent attacks, and even written information expose lawyers to towers of very real, disturbing, and tragic data. You know there’s a person behind every photo, word, and paragraph, and if the information can feel overwhelming or depressing at times, you’re not alone.
Vicarious trauma is a very real, well-documented phenomenon among lawyers. Essentially, this term describes the mental, emotional, and physical toll of hearing about or viewing evidence of another person’s suffering or loss, leading you to experience trauma, as well. I’ve had this happen myself, on a less intense level, after hearing a neighbor’s graphic description of the abuse she endured as a child. For days afterward, sleep and normal functioning were difficult.
Nothing had happened to me, and yet I felt queasy, scared, and troubled. My mind replayed scenes she described, and I felt oddly sad, hopeless, and anxious. It took at least a month to fully recover.
Vicarious trauma can lead to mental health issues, a loss of objectivity, and trouble properly representing clients. So what are signs of this trauma and how can you fight back without losing compassion and healthy levels of care?
What are some signs of vicarious trauma or emotional overload on the job? Some warning signs can include…
To begin to undo these harmful behavioral and emotional trends, we need to understand something critical. To a whit, empathy is not compassion. Differences exist, and understanding the difference can mean the difference between burnout and successful perseverance.
Remember when “empathy” became a buzzword several years ago? I remember it vividly, and heard the term slowly nudge out other words like “sympathy”, “compassion”, and “concern”. But what does it mean, exactly?
Empathy is, on an emotional level, feeling what another person feels. If they’re happy and excited, you’re not only genuinely happy for them, but you internalize their joy and excitement as your own. In a sense, you become one with their positive, enthusiastic feelings. This can be a great experience, but one’s capacity for empathy can have a darker aspect, as well.
Because when you feel what someone feels, you can also subjectively absorb something of their trauma, pain, and loss. Their hurt impacts you on a deeper level, and you begin to experience a degree of what they experience. The anxiety, fear, grief, and pain. The discomfort with things that you used to take in stride.
Now, instead of simply feeling a connection or concern, you feel unease. Even trauma. And when you become paralyzed by trauma, you risk lessening your impactfulness as a legal advocate. So here’s a better approach.
Compassion, in contrast to empathy, helps you to care about people more objectively. You can understand that what they have been through is terrible, and you feel for them, one human being to another. But you also maintain a perspective on their problem that, while concerned, is geared more toward solutions and thoughtfulness. Instead of getting stuck in a mire of pain, you’re finding solutions as you feel for them.
You don’t see the client as you, or you as your client. Instead, you see the client as someone who deserves the same level of representation and care you would give to someone you love. Frame the client in this way, and you’ve unlocked a key tool to help stave off harmful empathy and the vicarious trauma that can come with it.
And this is where your emotional and practical solutions begin to really come together. When you shift from feeling to understanding, you’re no longer stuck. And you can remain objective by focusing, not so much on feeling what your client feels, but on understanding their problems.
And when you shift solely from feeling towards understanding and comprehension, your mind is free to begin to seek out legal solutions for your clients, too. You begin to function, not as an emotional sponge, but as a tool-finder and legal craftsman. Ask yourself these questions on every difficult case:
These questions can help keep you grounded, focused, and locked into solutions rather than feelings. While you are still likely to feel moved by their plight, your mind and heart are now working together towards solutions, representation, and getting your client justice and the best results possible.
You’re also taking an immense burden off of your own shoulders. Remember, you don’t have to carry everything your client is carrying. That’s not your job. As a lawyer, your job is to represent the client, advocate for them in and out of court, seek out and present evidence that helps their case, and give them a better future. And you can do that with the right approach, objectivity, focus, and a schedule that allows your mind to rest, too.
Another key way to avoid the emotional damage that can come from harmful empathy is to ensure you have systems in place that allow you to rest. Not log off at 12:30 am and get three hours of sleep. But head home at a reasonable time, get at least seven hours of sleep, and truly enjoy your time with loved ones.
Without that time to recharge and focus on other things, you are simply too plugged into work to enjoy life. Your concentration, focus, and ability to enjoy practicing law can begin to suffer.
When you have reliable, talented help you can trust, the free time to tackle representation minus administrative busywork, and can save 10 to 40 hours per week, you’re looking at a much healthier schedule. You’re looking at a schedule that treats you like a valuable human resource, not a machine. And the downtime this permits can help your mind, soul, and nervous system take a much-needed break.
To recharge, try at least one of the following :
When you take time out for yourself, your mental health can improve. Physical health improves, as well, and your capacity to represent well remains as sharp as ever. But to make this all happen, you need someone to give you that break.
One of the simplest ways to get the right support in your corner? Reach out to DocketWorks. We’ll get to know your firm’s needs, listen to the challenges you’re facing, and pair you with an accredited, fully trained ILA.
In return? You’ll save up to 40 hours a week, can begin to get your free time back, and finally have the bandwidth to recharge and work at your best. Sever your ties with toxic empathy, and reconnect with compassion, clarity, and focus. You deserve that, and making this shift happen is exactly why we exist.
To get started? Book a no-pressure Discovery Call today.
Grace Singh is a writer and editor for DocketWorks. She enjoys bridging services and client needs in ways that are meaningful, memorable, and human-focused, even as technology continues to change. When she’s not at her home office, she enjoys nature walks, reading, and brewing coffee.